So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
