we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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