Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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