wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
