so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You took a bar mat shot.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
