Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
