My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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