I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
