The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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