this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
