Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
