I'm really into asian looking animals
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
