foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I have aggressive nipples.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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