What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
