and you said cock pushups were impossible
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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