you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
