We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
