I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
