Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
