so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
