College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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