I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
