I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
