grandma shit on top of the toilet
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm at about main and main street
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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