Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
