I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
