What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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