When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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