you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
