You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
