you guys were way drunker than both of me
i was born a porn star she said
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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