I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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