My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
