operation harelip BJ is a go
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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