I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
