check it out our google latitudes are spooning
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Lo siento on account of my penis...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
