Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
