is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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