your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
