he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
