Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
