i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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