its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
