I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
