i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
