I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
