are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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