hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
