The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
