Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
we're making bets on your personal life
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
