TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
