you win again, gameday.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
