I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
